The Power of Words

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.”

Self-help writer and leadership speaker Robin Sharma nailed it with this powerful quote.  We’ve all been on both the receiving and giving end of inspiring words.  Or hurtful ones.  So we know the boost we get when someone tells us we are amazing and will succeed. Conversely, we know how it feels when someone deflates us with a disparaging remark. We also know how bad we feel when it gets back to us that something we said off-hand to another caused offense and pain.

We know words can build or scar, so why do we sometimes speak unkindly? Several reasons come to mind:

• we are disconnected and unaware,
• we are frustrated, or
• we really do intend to hurt someone.

Regardless of the reason, when we verbalize something it is out there forever. Ouch!

A couple of thoughts to help:

Take a moment to breathe and think. As you are thinking, realize: this situation is going to pass, but the words you utter may be imprinted on another person for the rest of their life. Do you really want to tear down that person? Does it bring about a good result, and are your words of disdain how you want to be remembered? Even just a moment of reflection before we respond to a person can save a relationship, can lift another.

Toby Keith has a great country song, “I Wanna Talk About Me.” So let’s talk about “me” for a minute. Cruelty toward others is actually an indicator of how we feel about ourselves. If we are consistently self-critical, for example, we will tend to be critical of others.  When we figure out how to be less critical of ourselves, to forgive ourselves, and to nurture our personal growth, we instill a healthy sense of well-being. That healthy sense of well-being has an uncanny way of kicking Ego to the curb, which then enables us to better extend sincere kindness, patience, and forgiveness to others.  

Let’s examine the correlation between positive self-talk and a healthy mind/body. Do you catch yourself saying things like, “I’m not good with names”, “Nothing good ever happens to me”, or “my body’s falling apart”?

Did you know that when you do this, your being and your body believe it? The more you say things like this, the more it will manifest. Do you want to be better with names, feel young and vibrant, enjoy your healthy body? Then change the way you talk to yourself.

Start saying,

• “I’m great with names.” 
• “I always receive the best and greatest outcomes.”
• “I feel great.”

Even if you don’t believe it at first, do it. Over time your body and mind will believe it, and things will change.

I recently worked with a client who told me his knee was bothering him.  It became apparent that in order for his knee to feel better, he was going to have to change his self-talk. He was going to have to make a new habit – one of gratitude and appreciation toward his body, and specifically, his knee.  

As we discussed his assignment, he acknowledged how well it resonated with him. Before he even got started on it, he knew that his knee would respond to the positive words he would speak to it.  

This might sound too simplistic, but it works. Words are a powerful force, that over time, form new neuropathways in the brain. When we repeatedly express gratitude, repeat affirmations, or express encouragement, the brain develops new thought. This new energy becomes a belief, and if that belief is positive, it will bring about healing.

Here’s a fun experiment to try over the summer:

Choose an issue that you are having trouble with – it can be anything. Then carefully choose some words that will invite and encourage the outcome you desire. Write these words down, and say them to yourself frequently.  Further the influence of this experiment by extending this new kindness to others. 

By the end of the summer, see what has changed. This is the fun part. How much better do you feel? How has your body improved? And how does it feel to use your words to empower those around you? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain here. Just remember –  “Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.”

Improve Workplace Morale and Energy

Mark the appropriate letter – I love my job:  

A) Never   

B) Sometimes   

C) Always   

D) Only during the Holidays when I’m home and not working.

 If you marked A or D -maybe find another job?  If you marked C then you are one of the lucky few, and you should thank your lucky stars. If you marked B you’re the winner – I wrote this article just for you. 

There are countless ways to boost the energy and morale of a business, so I will focus on just 2 things that will have maximum impact.

First, the best business lesson I ever learned --  Everyone has a customer. From the CEO to the janitor.  Know who your customer is! One of my first “real” jobs was a bank teller when I was 19 years old. I worked for Florida National Bank, an institution that really got it. I was so well-trained before being assigned to a branch that by the time I worked with my first customer I already knew what I was doing.  

One of the things they taught me was that the president of the bank had a very important customer: ME! Yep, that’s right. I was told that his job was to make me happy. Why? Because as a teller I was the face of the establishment. To the vast majority of their customers, I was the one they saw and visited with, the one who handled their money (with a smile of course), the one they came to know and trust.

Most customers didn’t know or care who the president was -- they cared about who they were personally dealing with on a daily basis. And that was me. So the bank kept me happy so that I in turn would make the customer happy.

How did they do that? They treated me like I mattered – they included me in some of their meetings, they offered me a monthly bonus (along with a spotlight in the monthly newsletter) if my teller drawer was balanced for 30 consecutive days, and they even gave me co-access to the vault and to the building itself.

As a result I was a happily conscientious employee. By the way, I balanced my drawer every day that I worked there – incentive pays off. Oh, and guess what else – teller turnover was pretty non-existent, as everyone loved their jobs.  One teller had already been there 15 years when I was hired. This principle works best from the top down, as management sets the tone for everyone to follow.

Secondly, be someone who can be relied upon. Have integrity. Whether you are on the management end of things or the new entry-level employee, be honest. Employees, make an extra effort to be on time!

Maybe you don’t realize the frustration caused by consistent tardiness, but it truly causes distress to others.

Also, be willing to go the extra mile when another responsibility needs to be covered. Remember that everything you do affects someone else. And managers, presidents, CEOs – Please ask yourself this tough question: is your primary motive money, prestige, and power? If it is, realize that you are selling your integrity and your good name.  Ouch, sorry, that’s harsh. But realize that your reputation will be carried through the generations and remembered long after you are gone. So unless you want to change your name to Ebeneezer Scrooge or Ima Grinch, honestly assess your priorities and values, then re-assess them until they align with a character in which you can be pleased to leave as a valued legacy. Wealth is great, but not at the expense of your integrity. We receive through honest giving.

There are so many ways to improve the energy in your workplace.  Remember that it always begins with YOU. If you are delightful to be around, the whole office will catch your fun energy.  If you take the lead as a hard worker, others will follow your example. Don’t be a Scrooge, never a Grinch. Give more than you take. 

Feeling Lucky?

When I was a kid, one of my favorite TV shows was a Variety show called “HeeHaw” (tells you how old I am).  There was a segment on this show performed by Buck Owens and Roy Clark, where they harmonized a song that went like this: “…..if it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. Gloom, despair, and agony on me” Funny segment, totally depressing dialog.  Those of you old enough to remember this are humming the tune to this right now.

Do you ever find yourself thinking these kinds of thoughts? That your kind of "luck" is bad luck? Do you expect the worst? Are you always sick? If so, you may be living in "victim energy". As long as you are entertaining this way of thinking, you will actually experience the bad outcomes of which you are fearful. This may sound strange, but it’s very true – the mind/body connection is real and powerful. We all experience negativity and doubt from time to time, but it is very empowering when we can recognize this, overcome it, and live in the high energy that will attract those greater things we want.

Some suggestions:

• Accept that happiness and success is a choice -- so choose to be happy and successful
• Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions – quit blaming others
• Visualize yourself being successful -- what does that look like? What are you doing differently? How does that feel?
• Actively pursue those things that you want – failure only happens when you do nothing
• Get off the couch, and go help someone – service is a highly effective way to bless your life, as well as others’
• Live in gratitude for the things you already have and enjoy

Did I miss anything? If so, please add your own suggestions. By incorporating just one of these actions, you will enact a positive ripple effect, which will lift and empower you. You will be healthier, happier, and more successful in all your pursuits. It’s too late for Buck Owens and Roy Clark to give us some better advice, but maybe the good folks from “Duck Dynasty” can come up with some uplifting words to live by. In the meantime: Good "luck" -- you can do it!

Featured image Copyright: Kerdkanno / BigStockPhoto.com

What the Heck Is Energy Work?

Many have heard the term “energy work”, but because it is unfamiliar to them have feelings of apprehension about it.  And to others, this may be a new term. I find that people are somewhat leery of things they don’t quite understand (myself included), so I’d like to shed some light on this subject so that it makes more sense.

Let’s first start with what energy work ISN'T. It isn’t: magic, mystical, or scary. It isn’t even weird (unless of course your practitioner barks like a dog and dances like a chicken – get a new practitioner immediately!). Kidding aside, it also isn’t a substitute of any kind for prayer or any religious beliefs.  In fact, I actually had a client make the following brilliant observation: “Prayer is what invites positive circumstances, and the energy work is what clears the inner resistance to help receive it.” 

Before we get into the specifics of energy work, let’s define energy itself. Energy is the capacity of a physical system to perform work. Energy exists all around and within us in several forms such as heat, kinetic or mechanical energy, light, potential energy, electrical, or other forms. Because our bodies have an electrical system, defibrillators are used to restart the heart after a heart attack. We also have an electromagnetic system, which allows all kinds of communications to occur within and without the body. This is the system that is used when muscle testing (also known as kinesiology) to find blocks or weaknesses within the body. A polygraph test also uses this system and can be compared to muscle testing, as it is used to measure the body’s subconscious response to a true or false question.

OK now onto the good stuff – what is energy work, and what does it do? I realize as I write this that because there are so many methods out there (probably too many to mention) I better stick with what I know – the SimplyHealed Method®.  This modality uses kinesiology to find blocks, glitches, doubts, even generational issues (traits that run in a family – addictions, abuse, etc) within a person’s being. Oftentimes this is happening subconsciously, so the person is aware only of the effects of these blocks, in whichever way they manifest in the mind or body –illness, anxiety, depression, etc.  Once all these are found they are cleared.

Carolyn Cooper, the founder of SimplyHealed™, uses a great analogy to explain how this works:  Think of yourself as a biocomputer. As such, you store information, some of which is not serving you well – old programs, viruses, false information, etc. Just like a computer gets slow and tired over time, so do you! Especially when you are hanging onto hurtful things from the past. These things fester over time and become something much bigger and more complicated. So just like you would call a computer expert to come clean up your hard drive and software, an energy work practitioner would clean out the old programs you are holding onto.  With all the debris gone, the mind, body, and soul are now able to heal and function as they were designed to – and you are well on your way to being your best self!

I’ll share an example of how clearing emotional issues can affect the physical body. I once had the privilege of working with a client who was visiting from the Salt Lake area. We worked on many things during the session, and when we were finished he commented on how good his back felt. He never mentioned back pain to me before, and indicated that he had experienced the pain for so long that he didn’t think about it, and didn’t bother treating it – it was just a part of him.

Anyway, he left my office, went to a movie with a friend, then drove the five hours to his home. When he finally got there late that night, he called to let me know that his back still felt great. He had energy, and felt like he could do anything – he had forgotten how it felt to not have that pain. So something that we cleared for his emotional well-being also helped him physically. It’s amazing how capable the body is to heal itself when its blocks are out of the way!

People ask me all the time what I do, and how it all works. In a nutshell, I refer to Will Smith, who sums it up best as a professional matchmaker in his hit movie “Hitch” – “I just help people get out of their own way.”

"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration." - Nikola Tesla

Featured Image Copyright: Nikki Zalewski / BigStockphoto.com

The Mental Makeover: Ways To Strengthen Your Mind

My youngest daughter is an Olympic weightlifter. She has competed nationally, and has trained with the US Olympic Team. In her first national competition, she was privileged to earn a Bronze metal. This girl, with all her physical strength, flawless technique, and dogged determination, has come to learn through all of her competitions, with their ensuing victories and defeats, that there is more to the achievement of her goals than the grueling hours of athletic training. She has realized that the mind, equally as strong and disciplined as her body, is paramount to her success as a lifter.

Like my daughter, each of us needs a strong mind with which to successfully navigate our lives. Thankfully though, we don’t need to be semi-professional athletes to benefit from a fit mind. Whew!

Here are a few ideas to implement that will help exercise your mental self:

1.     Identify/Address limiting beliefs. We all have subconscious beliefs that hold us back. They are usually things like “I’m not smart enough”, or “people won’t like me if they get too close”. It’s not hard to see the connection between these false beliefs and the disappointments that are bound to follow. One way to find these beliefs is to write down all the reasons why you can’t get that job promotion, or find that right relationship. As you write, you’ll be surprised to see all the limitations under which you’ve been operating. When you find them, address them – challenge them. As you address false ideas with truth, you will see them dissolve. That’s a huge first step.

2.     Circles of Concern. A wise person once taught this to me when I was wrestling with some challenges, and it has become a favorite to share with my clients. It goes like this: take a blank sheet of paper and draw a circle in the middle. It should be big enough in which to make a list. Then around that circle make a bigger one. In the smaller circle list some things that YOU have control over: your actions, words, activities, etc. Then in the larger circle list things you have NO control over, but are concerned with: the actions of friends or loved-ones, broken economy, etc. This bigger circle contains the worries you turn over to a higher power. You give them to God. And then you let it go. Your focus is then only on the things listed in the smaller circle – the struggles within your realm of control. Now that your mental resources and your energy are directed in appropriate ways you’ll be more capable of conquering your challenges.

3.     Ask quality questions. Instead of the same old “why me?”, ask yourself “What might make this better?” or “What kind of person will I be on the other side of this problem?” A quality question will change your perception of any challenge, keeping your mind sharp and healthy as it searches for a helpful solution.

4.     Visualize the process. If you are required to make a speech and are overcome with fear, envision yourself confidently approaching the podium, successfully giving your well-prepared speech, walking back to your chair afterward, and enjoying the great feeling you have of delivering a fabulous address to a friendly and attentive audience. Seeing your way through something difficult before it happens is an effective way of telling your mind what you’d like to happen. It will bring a confident calm to your brain, since it will have a helpful pattern and direction to follow. 

There are many other ways to strengthen your mind, and I’m sure you have ideas and exercises that help you stay fit and healthy, both in your mind and in your body.  Do a little something each day that stretches yourself in some way – take a class, try a new route home, taste a different food. Even the smallest of things can change your overall direction. In the words of CS Lewis, “What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.” One of the most important things my daughter learned about successful weightlifting is the practice of mental exercise to go with the physical workout.  It has served her well, as it will you and me in all our pursuits, whether we have Olympic dreams or are just trying to keep up with the daily challenges of life.

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